Many women suffer from pain during penetration (vaginismus), chronic pain in the genital area or in pain during sex. Depending on the source, 45% of all women who experience pain in intercourse for a long time in their lives are said to be.
Pain in the genital area or during intercourse is usually a great burden for a woman especially if she cannot introduce anything and therefore perhaps never had intercourse. Doctors and therapists usually recommend women to use dilators. Some women also research the Internet and come across the so-called vaginal training – as the application of dilators is often called.
Either way, most women try to introduce dilators on their own and without proper guidance. Very often women give up vaginal training frustrated after a few weeks or practice with the unloved dilators for months or even years. Because they suffer from pain because they lose motivation or because it just does not work out right.
In this article, I’ll show you what the pros and cons are when you use dilators to treat vaginismus, or pain during intercourse. I’ll also show you some tips on how to use dilators correctly and what you should pay particular attention to and also how to choose an urethral sound for a beginner. And when you feel you’re ready to own one, you should buy from Loveballs because you can use this coupon code LustPlugs45%OFF for cheaper sounding toys.
Often therapists speak of dilator training as behavioral therapy. Behind this is the conviction that women are repeatedly introducing dilators to get used to the way the insertion feels. It sounds pretty logical that this works well. After all, behavioral therapy is a well-founded science and generally accepted. The introduction of vaginal dilators – or just vaginal training but also has its pitfalls. There are many difficulties that make it difficult for a woman to progress with a treatment.
You can have your own privacy at your own place but there are a few drawbacks when practicing with dilators. So that you can weigh for yourself whether practicing with dilators is good for you or not, I have put together a list of pros and cons for you.
Benefits vaginal training: the pro’s
No performance pressure: You can try out for yourself what it feels like to insert something into your vagina without pressure that it has to work now. Maybe you suffer like most women for years under the complaints.
Many women suffer years until they receive a diagnosis and start treatment. This can plunge a woman and her partner into deep crises. Sex is the problem instead of the most beautiful thing in the world. Not infrequently, the couples also avoid intimate moments.
You start small: Dilators are available in different sizes, so you can slowly get used to the introduction of dilators. It is easier if you introduce a small dilator the size of a finger than if you try to sleep with your partner.
If you can introduce a small dilator first, you can easily insert a tampon. This gives you security – you remain more motivated to continue practicing with dilators (even bigger ones) than if you are practicing with a big dildo.
You discover how your body reacts: When you practice for yourself, you can calmly observe how your body reacts. Where do you get hooked when you introduce a dilator? When is it painful, when does the burning begin? When do you hold your breath?
In everyday life, we often brace ourselves unconsciously. We pull our shoulders up, pinch the jaw and cramp our pelvis. The same happens if you have pain in the genital area and want to sleep with your partner. You unconsciously create areas of your body that should be quite relaxed. This can also affect the pelvic floor.
The pelvic floor consists of muscles and ligaments that enclose the vagina respectively are connected to the vagina. This means that the pelvic floor should be relaxed, so that you can introduce something completely relaxed and painless.
Tensions in a wide variety of body areas often cause your pelvic floor to become tense. It will then be more difficult to insert a tampon or to sleep with your partner. Everything feels tight or hurts.
If, for example, you strain your jaw – the pelvic floor is taut. If you cramp your legs or feet – your pelvic muscles tighten. Do you pull your shoulders up, do you stop breathing, do you cramp up your fingers, and do the pelvic floor muscles cramp? If you practice for yourself in your own privacy, you can take your time just for you.
You overcome your fears: Pain during sex, vaginismus often bring with it great fears. Fear of burning or pain, fear of being introduced to you; fear that it will not work again. Fear automatically causes you to cramp especially if you want to sleep with your partner. The more often you experience the experience of pain, burning or not being able to introduce, the greater your fears. Sometimes the fear is already there before. For example, the fear that the first time is painful, fear of pregnancy.
You get to know your private parts: Most women do not really know their genital area – not just women who suffer from pain in the genital area. When I work with women, I often hear “how do I know if I’m doing it right?” “I’m unsure if I’m going to introduce the dilator in the right place.” “I’m afraid I’ll hurt myself if I introduce something” In anatomy books the scabbard is usually drawn as a tube. If you think you look down there like on these pictures, you probably feel that your vagina is always closed. When you introduce dilators painlessly and relaxed, you soon realize that this is a bit of a distorted image. The vaginal walls are adjacent to each other. The vagina nestles and there is always as much space as necessary.
Vaginal training is equated with the success of the therapy: Most therapists – and thus also the affected women – measure the success of a treatment by how many dilators you can already introduce. Most of the time it is even overlooked that vaginal training should not be painful: It’s not uncommon for women to say, “I can introduce the 5th dilator, but it’s still burning.” But that should not be the goal. It does not lead to the most beautiful thing in the world, but to even more frustration and more pain. The goal of treating pain during sex is not that you can introduce as many dilators as possible.
Dilators feel uncomfortable – even for women without discomfort: Whether silicone or plastic, dilators feel hard, cold and uncomfortable. Not exactly what you expect, if you want to enjoy your sexuality. This is not least one of the reasons why many women lose their motivation and push a treatment or break off completely. It’s hard to imagine that sex is the most beautiful thing in the world when dilators feel so uncomfortable.
Complaints may worsen: If you, like many women, introduce dilators despite pain or burning sensation, you will maintain the pain circulation.
Our brain is pretty lazy and defends itself against change. If you repeat something constantly, your brain eventually creates an automatism or reflex. You know this, for example, driving from the car. In the beginning, everything is difficult – you constantly stall the engine, take hours to squeeze your car into a parking space, and so on. Over time, it all gets easier until you stop thinking about how to do it now. You just want to get from A to B and you can focus on traffic and your route. Everything else happens by itself.